November 28, 2006
August 19, 2005
and you thought YOUR family was strange!
Many many years ago when I was twenty three,
I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter
Who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her,
And soon the two were wed.
This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother,
For she was my father's wife.
To complicate the matters worse,
Although it brought me joy.
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.
My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.
For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown-up daughter
Who, of course, was my step-mother.
Father's wife then had a son,
Who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson,
For he was my daughter's son.
My wife is now my mother's mother
And it makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She's my grandma too.
If my wife is my grandmother,
Then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it,
It simply drives me wild.
For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa!!
(Author unknown)
May 22, 2005
Virus For Those Over 50
(Editor's note: I told you there would be occasional humor)
NEW VIRUS
> Just got this in from a reliable source. It
seems there is a virus called the "Senile Virus" that even the most advanced
programs of Norton and McAfee cannot take care of it. So be warned. The
virus appears to affect those of us who were born before 1960!
>
>
>
> Symptoms of the Senile Virus:
>
>
>
> 1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice.
> 2. Causes you to send blank e-mail.
> 3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong
person.
> 4. Causes you to send e-mail back to the person
who sent it to you.
> 5. Causes you to forget to attach attachments
> 6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've
finished the e-mail.
>
>
>
> Remember???????????
>
>
>
> I don't remember if I sent this one out........
> I don't think I did...or did you send it to me??
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Funny, I don't remember being absent minded..
>
>
>
> God grant me the senility to forget the people I
never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the
eyesight to tell the difference.
>
>
>
> Now that I'm 'older' (but refuse to grow up),
here's what I've discovered:
>
>
>
> 1. I started out with nothing, and I still have
most of it.
>
>
>
> 2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and All
Bran.
>
>
>
> 3. I finally got my head together; now my body
is falling apart.
>
>
>
> 4. Funny, I don't remember being absent
minded...
>
>
>
> 5. Funny, I don't remember being absent
minded...
>
>
>
> 6. All reports are in; life is now officially
unfair.
>
>
>
> 7. If all is not lost, where is it?
>
>
>
> 8. It is easier to get older than it is to get
wiser.
>
>
>
> 9. Funny, I don't remember being absent
minded...
>
>
>
> 10. Some days you're the dog; some days you're
the hydrant.
>
>
>
> 11. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could
use a few...
>
>
>
> 12. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
>
>
>
> 13. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
>
>
>
> 14. Funny, I don't remember being absent
minded...
>
>
>
> 15. It's hard to make a come back when you
haven't been anywhere.
>
>
>
> 16. The only time the world beats a path to your
door is when you're in the bathroom.
>
>
>
> 17. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would
have put them on my knees.
>
>
>
> 18. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why
does everyone decide to play chess?
>
>
>
> 19. Funny, I don't remember being absent
minded...
>
>
>
> 20. It's not hard to meet expenses... they're
everywhere.
>
>
>
> 21. The only difference between a rut and a
grave is the depth.
>
>
>
> 22. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking
about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what
I'm here after.
>
>
>
> 23. I AM UNABLE TO REMEMBER IF I HAVE MAILED
THIS TO YOU OR NOT!
>
>
>
> 24. Funny, I don't remember being absent
minded...
>
>
>
> Now, I think you're supposed to send this to 5
or 6, maybe 8, maybe 10, oh, heck, just send it to a bunch of your friends
if you can remember who they are. Then something is supposed to happen. I
think. Maybe you get your memory back or something! I think...
To your progress!
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