As if life as a child isn't difficult
enough, especially an orphaned and obviously unwanted one, the recent
story of the Hansen family and their rather startling behavior of
transporting by plane their adopted Russian son back to the homeland
strikes at the heart of what is out of balance with our international
adoption program.
The Hansen's couldn't parent the boy
any longer ostensibly because of 'psychotic' episodes, including
threats to burn the house down, complete with drawings of the house
in flames, with the family inside.
One's first thought might be, 'that kid
is crazy---he needs to be in a children's psychiatric hospital.' or
alternately, 'that kid is mad as hell, and didn't appreciate or
understand his being ripped from his culture and plopped down in
Tennessee, where it would be surprising to find a handful of people
in the entire state who understood the Russian language.'
Was the boy fluent in English? Was he
given information about what it might mean to live in an entirely
different culture? Do the Hansen's speak Russian and have a deep
understanding of Russian culture?
The entire adoption process needs a
serious second look. Most particularly, the international adoption
program.
Could anyone reasonably expect that six
year old boy to behave 'properly' and not act out seriously given the
mind numbing combination of experiences and events he faced? Think
about it. He is an orphan, and he is not a baby. He was raised
through his formative years in Russia, in Russian society, learning
Russian behavior.
What if an orphan in Tennessee, at
roughly the same age, was plucked up and deposited in the middle of
Russia? Just reverse the circumstances. Does anyone have any issues
understanding how traumatic that would be for any
six year old?
What in the hell
were the Hansen's thinking?
Are there no
children in Tennessee who need a loving home? The logic is truly
convoluted, and the Russian government is absolutely correct by
suspending the program. Hopefully, they will cancel it altogether.
But, of course, the
child-handling experts have sallied forth with their own opinions.
International adoption expert Joyce
Sterkel of the Ranch
For Kids Project, which helps "at risk" adopted kids,
predominantly from Russia, said that she was not surprised that some
parents are sympathetic to Torry Hansen's situation.
"I
would say overwhelmingly, anyone who has parented a
post-institutionalized child with difficulties is very sympathetic
with this mother, even though they may not agree with the manner by
which she handled it," Sterkel said.
Well, if this is true, by what standard
do they proceed? Are there simply no answers in Russia?
Sterkel
said while many expect "love heals," that a child's genetic
foundation, including inter-uterine exposure to alcohol during a
mother's pregnancy, cannot be loved away.
"It's a
problem everywhere [that] pregnant women drink, and certainly in
Russia that's the case. That can cause permanent organic brain
damage."
Ms. Sterkel's sweeping generalization
certainly puts the matter in perspective. How many pregnant Russian
women drink vodka? How does she obtain any legitimate statistics in
this regard?
Debbie Robinson, executive director of Miriam's
Promise adoption agency in Nashville, told CBS News, "This
child could've been placed with a qualified, licensed agency for
placement services so that . . . somebody like us, or Catholic
charities, could've found a family."
Unfortunately, this is the kind of
arrogance which promulgates the terrible issues of emotional upheaval
in the adoption process. Why do otherwise educated people insist
they can heal a problem, when they simply cannot, by any measure?
And further study of Catholic
institutions and responsible behavior leaves much to the imagination.
Unfortunately, the stench of a huge scandal is carried by
association.
Sterkel said that adoptive parents who find
themselves in a situation with a violent child often have few
options.
"Saying the woman can go back to the adoption
agency and turn the child over to them - no adoption agency will take
a 7-year-old child with these problems," Sterkel said. "Social
services probably will not help you. They will not take the child
into foster care. You have the child, and once you've totally
exhausted all your financial resources, then perhaps you can get some
help. But as long as you have any financial resources, you won't get
any help, you'll have to pay for it.
"I've seen parents
spend tens of thousands of dollars on psychiatric facilities,
elaborate treatments, medications, and all of it failed," she
said.
Well, there you have it. It all
failed. Case closed.
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